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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically followed by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to criticism from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits online – and was later diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that understanding by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people keep it private, due to so much stigma linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through things like pursuing power,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are males, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be linked to early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his GP, John was referred to a therapist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: It was indicated it is expected around early next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number